New Year, New Arse, that’s my resolution. I’m getting myself a new arse. It’s going to be pert and cute instead of gross and misshapen as it is at present. My new cheeks will be cuppable in an average-sized hand instead of an average sized shopping trolley.
I am going to get this new arse by totally natural methods and it will be attached to a slim waist and a flat stomach
There, I’ve said it, I’ve put it out there for the world (well, ok, you handful of readers) to see. It’s not a NY resolution because I always break those, it’s a promise to myself as I hurtle towards 50 that I’m going to have an arse that isn’t melded onto my legs via huge saddle bags. Because I’m worth it!
Watch this arse/space…..