Monthly Archives: September 2013

STFU Jamie Oliver

Now I’ve never been a fan of Jamie Oliver. All that cheeky “Cockernee” malarkey never won me over, I always saw him as a posh Home Counties boy playing at being “Street”.

But my dislike is rapidly turning into something stronger now with the nonsense he’s spouting at the moment in order to appear controversial/promote his latest TV programme and book.

The multi-millionaire says he “finds it hard to talk about modern day food poverty”. Well, I find it hard to talk about Quantam Physics – because I know absolutely bugger all about it!! So, rather than make myself look a complete idiot, I keep my trap shut.

Instead of bleating on about how a Sicilian street cleaner can make Ambrosia from a bag of horse shit “etc, why not do something constructive and donate some of your vast fortune to the alarming number of food banks opening up in the UK? Or pledge that you will donate all of the unused food from your restaurants to a homeless shelter?

Ive just checked a supermarket site and I can get the required items of Mr Oliver’s street cleaning friend for £5.30 (mussels, cherry tomatoes, spaghetti) but I’m damned sure that if I were in food poverty I’d want more than 3 ingredients for a fiver, I’d want as much filling, cheap food as I could fit in my basket to feed my family and I wouldn’t give two hoots about it being organic or sustainable as long as my kids didn’t go hungry.

And I don’t know about you but those three ingredients on their own would resemble a bland mush if I attempted to cobble together a meal from them – I’d sooner buy a Pukka Pie!!

Oh, and I do know what I’m talking about here. When I was in my late teens/early twenties I lived in a flat on a very low wage, every single penny I had needed to be stretched as much as possible. I remember taking the stalks off mushroom before I put them to be weighed and I ate so much ox liver I can’t even look at the stuff anymore without feeling murderous!

There are plenty of people far more qualified to speak about this subject such as the inspirational Jack Monroe – author of the frankly amazing website She can talk the talk because she has lived it, her website was born out of the desperation of a mother trying to feed her child, not because she had some new tat to promote or because she wanted to get her name in the papers.

I know which one I’d rather listen to – and it’s not that presumptuous Cockernee twat…

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